Stupid, Retarded and downright Ridiculous Youtube Comments

The aim of this website is to document and preserve the most retarded Youtube comments, so that people a hundred years from now can look back and take solace in the fact that the authors of these stupid comments have all since died. Some in horrible car crashes. Some from falling off ladders. Some from choking on peanuts. And some from falling off ladders while choking on peanuts. Thank God for Evolution.

Email the site at:

The porn I like to read

yay u maded fun of fred
Short but sweet.
damn.. a FAKE rectum.. that's.. no good for the kind of porn i like to read...
The porn you like to read?

Oh and that annoying tosser Fred? Have a look at this flash cartoon where he finally gets what he deserves:

Youtube Time Capsule - are you going to collage yet?

hello 24 year old me
are you still playing trombone did you finally tell your middle school band teacher of yet?and are you still going to collage for music dont let mom drag you to medical school !
You gotta love people who say that they're going to collage. Who knew that you could physically go to "a picture made by sticking other pictures onto a surface". Why do I have a slight feeling that this person won't be going to medical school?
Dear 27 Y.O ME
Let us all hope that this guy is never allowed to have children. Intelligence is something that children usually get from their parents - whether intelligence is hereditary or something a child acquires via his or her enviornment is a topic that somebody else can waste their time on. Either way - this guy having a child would be catastrophic.
heyz, 25 year old meh,
hav u gotten out of high skool yet? if so r u workin or studyin? did u go 2 law skool or r u an architect? did u mov from the states or ru still livin in that dump? did u fix ur grammar issue? lol
did u cut ur hair again? or did u let it grow
do u still luv Nightwish?
but if ur still in high school jus consider ur self an idiot/failure/duche lol
Heyz lol, dis iz ur future self letting u no that if u had workeded better at tha grammar issue and mayb used a spellcheckser so taht odrs cud take u more srsly, thehn u wudnt be emplyd as a purson who tests tha affects ov drinkin bleach. Oh and by the way, it's spelt douche, your honour.
Thank you for letting me know.
did i make illions?/
No. No you didn't.
dear futur jaime did yu pas ur spelin test in hiskol a betr qestin iz did u pas hiskol?
hoo did yu mare? was it ur bezt frend? wat!yu did awsum! wate iz it awsum? ya i tink itz mite b awsum.
I think that I had better wrap this up.

Note that these were ALL found on the exact same Youtube video. So yes; there is no God.

How is babby formed? Stupid Yahoo Questions and Answers

I was checking my referrals this morning when I came across a forum thread on another website. This forum thread included some examples from this blog and a Youtube clip of a Yahoo Question being read out. I nearly wet my pants. Prepare to laugh. Youtube certainly has a contender.

Star Trek nerds versus Star Wars nerds

Who'd win in a fight between a Star Trek nerd and a Star Wars nerd? In a perfect world, both would mortally wound each other and bleed out on the floor. Sure, I have absolutely no problem with somebody liking something. Or even loving something. But sometimes people can take things a little too far. And when I say far, I mean holy shit man, seriously. Dya wanna stay a virgin? If so, then post comments like this:
Well, that could be countered with the fact ISD turbolasers pump out teratons and at full power can do 2.4 petatons, and the Executer could do 250 petatons at full power, and the Death Star can do 1E38Joules which is more than 100,000,000 times the power of the earths sun. Structural reinforcement and armor plating? IIRC they can regenerate 18 teratons a second (that's more than the entire Fed fleet could pump out) and they can destroy planets in less than 15 minutes. This is called BDZ.
Or this:
As much as I'd like to agree with that assessment, even the wikipedia lists the SW weapons as only laser by title, not be actual weapon energy type.
SW weapons and shields to withstand such weapon attacks are likely stronger but the power requirements for them are much higher than for phasers which can do similar damage with less power. However, since ST doesn't typically generate higher power levels, they'd be left searching for weaknesses, and assimilating SW stuff to use against them.

Stupid Youtube Videos

Anyone who has taken the time to read some of the previous posts on this blog will have surely noticed how many conspiracy-theory-related comments have been shown here. The reason for this is that Youtube has been, and probably always will be, a haven for conspiracy theories. This is because every muppet with access to Windows Movie Maker is an expert who has just uncovered the truth. Throw in a few insinuating photographs, a chilling soundtrack, some cherry-picked quotes and you have yourself a legitimate truth-exposing video. Morons will flock to it, swallow it whole and give it a five star rating. Your job is done. You are now officially an arsehole.

This video is the first part to a section that I intend to base purely on video content. Ladies and gentlemen: Meet Mark. Mark is a Youtube user. When not shopping for fashionable Superman t-shirts, Mark likes to make videos and put them on Youtube. One might call Mark a vlogger. One might also call Mark a muppet. You see, Mark is a conspiracy nut. He thrives on conjecture. It's his lifeblood. It helps him escape the boredom of everyday life. He visits conspiracy-theory-driven websites such as and then forces himself to swallow as much bullshit as humanly possible. Rumour has it that Mark's mother once found him choking to death on a conspiracy theory. He should really learn to chew.

Firstly Mark, if you're going to persuade all into thinking that you're the one who delivers the truth, you had best drop the spooky intro music. Secondly, just because you read something on the Internet; that doesn't automatically make it true. Normally, people usually read something, question it, question the source they're getting this information from and THEN choose whether to believe it or not. All you did was quote something speculative that you read somewhere on the Internet, before wasting the rest of your time musing over what people's reactions would be. I like the way you translated "Swine Flu Emergency" into "National Emergency". Great job Mark! A+.


so if this song was recorded 1983 it must what happened 30 years ago...
Let us look beyond the grammatical errors in this comment and head straight towards the math:
2009 - 1983 = 26

Here are some more:
wow really are u kidding that preaty fucked up um if u didnt know he didnt molest the kid the kid lied so his dad can get 20 million dollars because his dad was in a debut so stfu faget
Not the best song but allmost every song he maked is 999999% good.
Is this his new song? i thought Michael Jackson is dead. 
r that is why he was picked on and media is just bull shit for the money ofcourse so fuck the papers and tv news and internet bull shit. I MEAN HAVE YOU ALL SEEN DO THIS STUFF NOO EEXXAACCTTLLYY so just let the man be in peace and stuff one day ur gona die would it be nice people cussing ur dead ugly fucked up looking body. NOO it wouldn't so FUCK OFF FUCKING STUPID HATERS i dont believe a word or the rumours that were spread. AND I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT LIKED M.J. SO DONT HATE IM


Had to throw this one up for all to see:
Somebody give this man a damn atlas.

PS: I have noticed that a few people have been complaining about this particular blog post and how it supposedly doesn't take into consideration, the political views of the person who wrote the above Youtube comment. The negative feedback doesn't surprise me, considering that the majority of people who have found this particular blog post, have done so by "Googling" for search terms such as "Irish, not European" etc. Obviously not the most impartial of visitors. The fact is - your political views do not negate the fact that Ireland is a European country, both geographically and politically - making every Irish person a European person. It really is that simple. Anyone who says otherwise is talking shite.

Dear Irish Parents

I have reason to believe that the referendum Ireland held on the Lisbon Treaty not so long ago was rigged. It was all a lie! A big fat lie constructed by the Illuminati; a shadowy sect of unscrupulous world leaders who wish to create a new world order, where countries such as Ireland fall under one singular world-wide rule. The president of this singular world nation? The anti-Christ. Or as others may call him; Daniel O Donnell. Why do I believe this, you may ask yourself as you load up your dusty hunting rifle? Well, it is quiet simple. You see, I was on the Internet yesterday. Yes. The Internet. And while on this map of tubes that allows us to communicate, I came across a Youtube video. It was a very shocking Youtube video. Very scary. It had a haunting musical number playing in the background. The footage in this video was shaky, which obviously suggests that the person recording it was too busy uncovering the truth to worry about video quality. To make matters worse, the footage was shot at night - a time when many shady things happen. In this video, a man was shown carrying what looked like a ballot box. Many others were carrying them too. EXCEPT! Get ready for this. THIS man was seen LEAVING the Cork City Hall, which obviously means that something bad was going down. I mean, what other explanation is there? Was the box empty? I doubt it, seeing as it was a box and people often put stuff in boxes. No. There was something definitely in that box. In my authoritative opinion, as a man who is an expert at looking at Youtube videos and uncovering the truth, that one singular ballot box contained a billion no votes. Don't believe me? Take a look at what your children had to say on the matter!
I really have a strong feeling this was rigged.
Would  ANTONELIUSMCGREGOR really say that if he didn't have a strong feeling that it was all rigged? Of course not! There's the proof right there!

RTE announced a win before any votes were counted..."just by the look of them..."
No ID where I voted...disabled left outside in the rain...IM message boards full of complaints from foreign born full blooded Irish citizens turned away as foreign nationals walked in and cast their vote... national "observers..."
This is all TRUE! I mean, even I was told that I couldn't vote because Gustav, my Polish neighbour wanted to vote instead of me. I don't have any proof of that but why would I lie on the Internet?
Mossad run Google/youtube so this may get pulled.
It's official. The Israeli secret service were also behind the rigging of the Irish referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.
I went to vote,but i wasn't on the register,they don't know why i wasn't,i registered when i was 18yrs old,and now i wasn't on it.
Mate, it's pretty obvious that they used some sort of mind-reading device to determine which way you were going to vote, before taking you off the register.
Where are our fucking rights. We are not stupid, this is a lie and a fraud. Should not be allowed this stropello. Count the votes and who voted. UN = UE = LIE LIE LIE POLITICAL =
Holy shit. Not only were we voting on Lisbon, but we were also voting on a secret treaty called the Lisboa Treaty?! Those sneaky bastards. And the vaccines? BULLSHIT! Why would we want to prevent Swine Flu!??? Vaccines are obviously just a way for the NWO (New World Order - another shadowy sect) to inject us with mind control chips.
As Satan takes control of all governments. The Anti-Christ rides the ten headed Hydra like in the movie The Omen II the EU and NAU are just two of the heads. Next WWIII then the Great Tribulation. Isn't that how the prophecy goes?
You heard it here first folks!

An ocean of stupidity and no land in sight

It has become clear to me that the majority of stupid comments come from videos with political overtones. It seems as if every dyslexic 13 year old with access to a keyboard is an expert. As you'll soon find out.
personally i think that the Illuminati could be funding the BNP (hence their growth in popularity)
What is wrong with these people? Why must they blame the Illuminati and other fictional secret societies for everything that is wrong and unjust in the world?  For those of you don't know, the BNP (British National Party), is an ultra-nationalist "political" party whose members are notorious for their racism and "dislike" of foreigners. The funny thing about the above comment is that afterwards, he/she goes onto explain (rather badly) that this secret world-ruling organisation is funding the BNP in order to create a unified Europe.... even though the BNP are well known for their anti-EU stance?
I just about CHOKED when Powell was mentioned.. polling showed that the day after his speech he would have been elected PRIME MINISTER in a landslide.
THEN.. "Racisism????? goood GRIEF there is the BLACK Police Association racist is THAT ??? and WHY IS ISLAM AN EVIL FAITH asks some muslim ?

The next verse CURSES Jews and Christians!!!! calling us DELUDED by NAME..
Seriously man. Get a girlfriend. By the way - it's spelt "racism", not "racisism". I AM TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE IT GETS MY POINT ACROSS MORE CLEARLY. DUUUURRR
holocaust my arse, if the numbers were correct we would still be gassing niggas and bitches today!!!
I'm not even going to comment on that one.

Marathon of stupidity

fuck the people that work at youtube
That comment might not have looked so stupid if it had appeared on another website.

Now or then? Doesn't make sense if your talking about then. Slaves were not allowed to read let alone recieve an education. So writing about a person who can't read seems a little redundant.
This moron seems to think that racism isn't really racism if the race in question doesn't know about it.
dirty murdering orange scum!!!! you brits killed princess diana!!!! started aids, molested chimpanzees,look at english history ass head,potato famine,your overlords and rack renters,filthy thieving scum,btw ass head if not for canada hitler would have killed you all!!! now argue with that you orange diddler!!! pumpkin head!!
Yea, take that you pumpkin head! You orange diddler! You big AIDS-creating poopy face! Oh and seriously - Canada? I know they helped train allied pilots, but c'mon?!

there called terorists but in ireland there freedome fighters in america there freedome fighters in france there freedome fighters

only england calles ira terorists
We, the Irish, would like to apologise to the world having allowed somebody so retarded access to a computer.

There are two types of people that I hate in the world.

Those who sign their name after posting a comment and those whose word-to-emoticon ratio is less than 20:1.
1. it was a hoax >_>
2. Nopes ^^()


Stupid Facebook comment

The Goverment says no smoking in public we respect the reason n stop Goverment says no smoking in cars w young 1s in it so we stop Goverment says pay 4 the debt they made so we pay Goverment says buy bag tags 4 our garbage so we pay facebook is a non profit organization where we can chat w friends n b$&#h about life n escape from the prblms the Goverment gives us keep facebook free @ least I'll have 1 thing 2 b proud of we r a free Country after all unless the Goverment wants 2 screw that up 2
Youtube is not the only website infected by the stupidity of its own members, as you can see by attempting to read the comment above.

1: I'm pretty sure that the Government does allow you to smoke in public places. The ban that you're probably referring to is only relevant to places where people work, i.e. bars, restaurants and retail outlets.

2: What's wrong with NOT smoking in the car while you're children are sitting in the back, choking to death on the fumes coming out of your mouth? I'm a smoker and I can honestly say that I don't have a problem with allowing my children to reach their full life expectancy.

3: Facebook isn't a non-profit organisation, or at least it doesn't wish to be. Nobody is going to setup a non-profit social network just so you can LIKE Sally's update about her acne clearing.

4: I fail to see how reading boring monotonous status updates about people going to work and friends complaining about the weather is going to free you from the "goverment". 

5: The government has no say over whether Facebook should be free or not. Stop being thick. Right now.

6: Could you please use a full-stop every now and again for fucksake; at one point I thought that you were telling us all that you've been paying Facebook for your garbage collection: "Goverment says buy bag tags 4 our garbage so we pay facebook".

Obama hates white and black people

Stupid statement, I know. But even more bizarre is the fact that this comment was found, completely out of context, on a video about floods in Georgia.

It's Obamas fault...he hates black and white people

Youtube Comments: The Statistics

I decided to do a little bit of research. What I did was choose the first featured video that I saw on the Youtube homepage and check the first page of it's comments section for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

10 comments were on the first page. Here are the stats:
  • 7 out of the 10 of those comments didn't use proper capitalisation.
  • 4 out of the 10 comments used bad grammar. Note that I was very lenient when choosing which comments had grammatical errors or not, even going so far as to overlook certain spelling mistakes.
  • If I was a strict English teacher with a cold heart and a religious devotion to the English language, I would have said that 9/10 of these comments used bad grammar.
  • 4 out of 10 comments had misspelled words.
Note that some of these comments had common typos. The aim of this blog is not to become a witch-hunt for spelling mistakes alone; instead the aim of this blog is to highlight the stupidity of certain Youtube comments. I am not a Grammar Nazi and I honestly do not care whether somebody misspells a word by accident or not: As long as the comment can still be understood. The aim of this blog is to highlight certain comments that are either atrociously bad in the grammar department, or comments that are just plainly fucktarded in terms of logic and actual content. I will mainly be focusing on the latter.

How can somebody be so bad at spelling?

he is not in the balon he never vear in the balon he whas foun in a boks in heas haus
Normal people would actually have to try to spell this badly. HOW are these people allowed access to the Internet?

Get yo vocab on bitches

Although I agree with the point that he's trying to make, this is just ridiculous:
you kno wut white ppl everyday its nigger this and nigger that vocab kinda low huh give it up its 09 bitches

Number one reason to lose faith in humanity

I have a list. It's called "The top 10 reasons to lose faith in humanity". This is at the top, just above XFactor:
Mx what urr name iss Fuckk U U Dntt KNo Anythingg U Bastard Did U Get Raoe By Mj????....OK Theen SO Howw Can U Judgee Someoneee If Anythingg Blame Hiss fatherr!!!!

Thine boobs look like a spacecraft made by NASAN

This guy is just hilarious:
at first i thught yoy were sitting with yur knees in front of u but it seems it's just thine boobs
An important lesson - if you're going to lecture people on the importance of spelling properly, don't balls up on your own.
Learn to spell. And study harder~~~ much harder...your analogies are discusting and your analysis is redundant
NASAN space missions:
I don't get NASAN. They already knew of the water on the moon, so why the massive bombing of OLTIMATE DESTRUCTION?
 Sadly enough - these comments were all found on the same Youtube video. This blog is going to be easy to maintain.

Fanboys and Fangirls should be arrested

Question: What is a Fanboy/Fangirl?

Fanboys/Fangirls are probably one of the most annoying types of individuals that a sane person with friends and a life can come across. All of their logic and reasoning is focused towards defending the object of their obsession; be it a famous person, a rapper (rappers don't qualify as real people), an inanimate object or a belief system. Sometimes they're called extremists. Sometimes they're referred to as fanatics. Either way and regardless of what you call them; they're always a pack of cunts.

How you going to compare a window Toshiba laptop to a Apple Macbook Pro. It's like comparing between a Ford vs BMW. Obviously rwtfalexis is a window user, I use to be a window user and after switching Mac, I would never ever purchase any window os system toshina, sony, dell etc.

I might have respected this guys opinion a little bit more if it weren't for the fact that he calls himself MacMike1000. Anyone who likes a computer operating system so much that they merge its name with their own is an idiot. Mike even states that he'd never purchase a Windows operating system... Why? Because it's Windows - duh! Who cares about whether it's good or not? If it doesn't look trendy enough for me to show it to my Converse-and-scarf-wearing-Cafe-dwelling hipster friends, then I'm not interested. Take that, Microsoft!

Actually I am writing from a laptop, so put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Russell Brand is clearly a national treasure because unlike you, he is treasured by the nation.

Russell Brand - for those of you who don't already know, is a British national hero who saves millions of lives daily, feeds the poor and cures people from cancer.

Haha, says the fucker who believes in capitalism. When 80% of the world (U.N. Stat, real is probably worse) is in absolute poverty, who's really delusional?

You just like to sit on your fat ass and order pizza online. Fuck you.

Heh. Says one online person to another. Also - will Communism solve world poverty?

Why is it

...that those who show the most empathy also seem to show the most contempt for the English language?

Got there are some real sad and sick people in the world! you click on this video just to lieave some sad and sick comment. its perfetic! sad thing is u all will never know what dicks you are!

stephen gately, u were a wonderfull performer a wonderfull human being. and will be missed not just for your music but for the great person you were

9/11 was a hoax - CGI cartoons to blame

I was wandering around Youtube when I came across a certain conspiracy theorists channel. His introductory text?
The Evil United States of America's ridiculously bogus cartoon terrorplanes of September 11th, 2001, depicted on nationwide television and in amateur videos, are absolutely 100% animations. A cursory review of the videos clearly reveals that these computer generated images (CGIs) all violate Newton's 3rd law of motion.
The use of cartoon images of airplanes appearing to crash into the WTC, instead of real airplanes, easily fooled all of the mentally-retarded brain-dead dumbfucks living in America, who live out their pathetic fucking lives inside of a retarded fucking propaganda tube. The 9/11 cartoonplanes were a crucial element in the Zionist-Jew's primadonna "banana republic USA's" inside-terrorist attack of September 11th, 2001 on its own citizens. And it's worked! Americans have solidly proved they are more than willing to be instruments of the Devil for transient material rewards.
That probably has to be the most ridiculous piece of text that I have ever read in my whole entire life. And this is coming from a guy who has read his fair share of conspiracy theories. The fact that thousands of people in New York seen these planes crashing into the Twin Towers with their very own eyes doesn't seem to matter to this guy. This comment is not just retarded - it's downright scary! How do people arrive at these conclusions?

You are a Hindu terrorist

Let me just point out the fact that the following Youtube comment was completely out of context with the conversation that was going on at the time:
Be careful of Hindus. They are animies of ISlam and PAkistan. If u r a Muslime than shame on u . Ur hating Muslims. But i m 100% esure ur not Muslim or Afghani. May be ur in Afghanistan. But u r a Hindu Terrorist
 Beware the animies of ISlam. All Muslimes unite!

Lizard people - they exist

can't believe how many people havn't done their research. Before writing a comment, research what you want to talk about to see if what u r saying is true or not. A lot of people in here, if they done that, would not have posted. Iran is on the peoples sides, they are fighting for the people against the evil powers that pull the strings of the world. Everyone just believes what they are told like sheep.. watch 'obama deception' on youtube and david icke. Question things, try not to be so ignoran
Excuse me if I sound "ignoran", but isn't David Icke the guy that believes our world is somehow controlled by a secret sect of shape-shifting lizard people? Holy shit. I didn't think that people actually believed in this crap. Trust Youtube to prove me wrong.

Just to note: Reading a few shoddy publications by loonbags and watching shady amateur documentaries complete with spooky music and distorted voices about conspiracy theories on Youtube does not fall under research. It falls under you being a retard.

Comments that make you wonder whether abortion should be mandatory

More often than not, I come across a comment that literally makes me say "what the fuck", or "wtf" for all you hip cool teenagers who are too busy with your lives to type an extra few letters.
lol idk how i end up looking this video but it was weird funny lol xD
yea idk why i read these comments but it was weird funny my hat is on fire lol xD
david wain tides me over between sating my woody allen obsession. true story. 
We believe you.
3rd anti crist is Obama
If you're going to call somebody the anti-Christ, you could at least try to spell the word correctly. Also - what?
You're going to regret saying that when America becomes a dictatorship. Watch & see. Obama is doing the same thing Hitler did. Promised hope & change, walking through the streets shaking people's hands with a smile on his face then not to long after he killed 6 million Jews. You better ask God for forgiveness.
Wow. Therefore, anyone who promises hope and change is going to become a genocidal maniac?

Dramatic reading of a Youtube comment

Perfect. Just perfect.

A few comments that I found....

.... pretty easily and with little effort, depressingly enough.
61'th comment!
Somebody tell this genius that it's the "61st", not the "61th".
you or someone could accidentally tip over the xbox 360 and it will fuck up your game inside thats what sucks ass about the xbox 360 you have to be constantly protecting it and waching over it like a little kid if its not the Red ring of Death overheating then its disc scratching , E74 error , Disc read errors ect..... xbox 360 is horrible
Yea man. I hate that. I mean, I hit mine with a sledge hammer and it fucked up the game that I had inside. And I was like "lol wtf xbawks sucks i cnt even hit it or knock it over or drive over it in a steamroller". 

did you hear about the woman who tied an 18 year old pregnant girl up and opened her stomach up and took the baby and claimed it as her own?

i think she's a pretty big douche bag
We're all glad that you managed to come to that conclusion. There was this guy called Hitler that murdered millions of innocent men, women and children. I'd consider him a dislikeable person.

The Moon landing was a hoax - because this guy said so

Youtube videos on conspiracy theories such as "the Moon landing was a hoax" always throw up a few loose bolts. With those loose bolts being retarded Youtube users. Here's a lovely little comment that I found on one such video:
i dnt know. i hate my father and he believes we landed so therefore whatever that fucking asshole thinks is wrong. i want to kill that fucking faggot. so if you think we landed on the moon your dead to me.
There was no better comment to help get this blog rolling. Not only has this guy decided to broadcast his personal problems with his father to everyone on Youtube - completely out of context, but he has also shown the world how clinically retarded he is when it comes to reasoning. What if his father were to tell him that drinking bleach is dangerous? Would he assume that his father is wrong? Would he then proceed to drink a whole bottle of it out of spite? Let us all hope so. It'll be one less moron clogging up the comment section.