Stupid, Retarded and downright Ridiculous Youtube Comments

The aim of this website is to document and preserve the most retarded Youtube comments, so that people a hundred years from now can look back and take solace in the fact that the authors of these stupid comments have all since died. Some in horrible car crashes. Some from falling off ladders. Some from choking on peanuts. And some from falling off ladders while choking on peanuts. Thank God for Evolution.

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I hate memes

This comment highlights the fact that Internet memes need to die out:

I hate memes

It's over 9000!!

This particular meme was born back in October, 2006. Essentially, this means that Internet users have been regurgitating the exact same joke for nearly SIX years. SIX GODDAMN YEARS. That's over half a decade!

Why I hate memes

It's not that I don't find memes funny. It's just that memes never seem to run their course and gracefully die out. Instead, they hang around and overstay their welcome, much like a visiting relative or a silent-but-deadly fart on a crowded school bus. Whenever I come across a newly-born meme, I feel conflicted. On one hand, I like the fact that it's new and fresh and that it has provided me with some entertainment. However, on the other hand, I feel troubled because I know for a fact that it's going to be regurgitated and beaten into the ground for the next couple of years. You know that feeling you get when somebody tells an old joke that you heard years ago? Well, that's the exact same feeling I get when I see an old meme being paraded around as if it's new and shiny.

It's not just the repetitiveness of it all that irks me. My ever-growing hatred for Internet memes is also fueled by the fact that some people prefer to communicate with them. For example: On popular social news websites such as Reddit, you'll often come across users who persist on using advice animal memes to present their arguments. It's as if regular conversation has become too boring for them and they feel as if the inclusion of "Scumbag Steve" and "Good Guy Greg" will brighten things up and make everything more exciting.

Why do people hate memes?

The closer you are to the birthplace of an Internet meme, the more likely you are to end up despising it. It all starts out fine and dandy. Somebody on 4chan submits something that is unique, strange or funny and it quickly catches on. Within a day or so, it has become some sort of inside joke. People are rehashing it, derivatives are being submitted and everyone is delighted.

However, after a week or so of seeing a constant stream of rehashes and spin-offs, the people who originally found the meme funny are now beginning to feel jaded by its presence. In their mind, the joke has worn thin and it's time to let it die. Unfortunately for them, little Jimmy has decided to visit 4chan for the first time in a few days and he thinks that this "new" meme of theirs is absolutely hilarious. In fact, he feels as if his buddies over on will also appreciate it! And he's right. They love it! Well... most of them do.

User A, B and C can't get enough of this new meme. User D, on the other hand, can't stand the sight of it! You see, User D is also a 4chan user and he's been seeing the exact same meme for the past week or so. He feels tired of it and is frustrated because of how it has effectively taken over his favorite forum board. To make things worse, all of his complaints are falling on deaf ears because everyone is far too busy playing with their new toy to care about what some damn party pooper has to say! Some of them are creating derivatives of their own. Some of them are having fun by injecting the meme into random conversations about unrelated topics. Simply put: User D is not a happy camper.

After a few weeks, the users of this particular forum board have also grown tired of the meme. Essentially, they've tired themselves out by repeating the same joke with slightly different punchlines. They want to move on and let it rest. Unfortunately for them, the meme doesn't want to rest. Instead, it wants to spread out like wildfire and leak onto larger websites.

Sooner or later, people begin to fulfill this wish by sharing the meme on larger websites such as Reddit and Tumblr, much to the dismay of everyone that has already grown tired of it. This is a critical part of the meme's lifespan. At this point, it can either fizzle out or go viral. If the meme has any sort of mainstream appeal, it will grow. If not, it'll remain in obscurity. If it has the potential for mainstream appeal, it'll be molded and reshaped into something that "everyone" will like. If you think about it, sites like Reddit and Tumblr tend to act as a buffer zone between the birthplace of these memes and the rest of the Internet. If the meme has mass appeal, these websites will wrap it up in plastic and aid its spread (all the while mocking those who accept their little package).

Before you know it, the meme is being covered by bloggers and tech news websites. It's also beginning to seep onto Youtube and Facebook. Youtube channels are using the meme in their videos and Facebook fan pages are being setup in order to worship it. Twitter accounts dedicated to the meme are born and they amass a large amount of followers. Those followers retweet the meme ad nauseam, spreading it even further. The spread of the meme across Facebook is aided by websites such as 9gag, which are littered with "share buttons". Reddit and Tumblr refuse to let go of the meme and continue on churning out derivatives. At this stage, companies and entrepreneurs try to monetize it by offering merchandise and Youtube channels try to inflate their views/revenue by using it in their video thumbnails and channel backgrounds.

The meme has now become apart of mainstream Internet culture. It might have taken months or even years, but in the end, it got there, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it. Whenever a person became tired of the meme, he or she was replaced by three or four more people who were willing to carry the torch and help it spread. Throughout the months and years, those who had witnessed the meme in its early stages had to watch on in horror as this "joke" was repeated time and time again, with growing intensity.

Can you show us how to build a castle?

Build castle

I don't usually focus on bad spelling. However, for this comment, I just had to make an exception. It's as if his cat walked across his keyboard while he was trying to type.

Context: This was found on a Minecraft video. In case you didn't already know, Minecraft is a popular block-based building game.


Off topic post.

If you're interested in nostalgia (games from the 80s, TV shows from the 90s etc), check out the new Nostalgia blog that I just setup.


Racism on Youtube

Racism Youtube

Why is this guy having a conversation with himself and why am I doubting his ability to give an impartial view on Jewish people?


Megavideo Sopa

In case you didn't already know, the file sharing service "Megaupload" was shut down today after its owner and several company executives were charged with violating several copyright laws.

Anyway: This Youtube commentator decided to connect the dots before ending up with the conclusion this was the beginning of the notorious SOPA act (which hasn't actually been passed yet, by the way).

Notice how the act is called SOPA and not SOAP. Yes. Fortunately for us all, the freedom of the Internet is not being threatened by the cleansing product that we've all come to trust for our daily hygiene needs.

So rest assured people; SOAP AS NOT ARRIVED.

I hate Indians because they drink turtle blood...

Yes - I am just as confused about this comment as you are. Something something about Indians drinking the blood of 200 year old turtles because a net was broken, or something.

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised Pedophile

The Onion is an "American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news." (Check it out. They have some pretty hilarious stuff.)

Anyway; I think it's fair to say that most normal people would watch the above video, see that it's a joke and then laugh a little. Unfortunately, your average Youtube user isn't a normal person, as seen below:

Yes... all of these comments appeared on the first page of the comments section. Lets degrade our faith in humanity even more by digging a little deeper.

I am serious. This shit is endless.

Earthquake in Chile. It must be the end of the world.

This comment enraged me so much that I went outside and started to kick small animals.

Matthew 24, 7. For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom , and there will be food shortages and earthquakes in one place after another these are signs that we r living in the last days. You know dumbass earthquacks happen all the time? Put the byebull done and read a science book for once in your life.

This consolidates my view that the Youtube servers should be set on fire and that no mention of the website be muttered afterwards. A nutbag quotes some generic crap from the Bible and the ONLY voice of reason on the comment section of the video gets downvoted. Earthquakes? Food shortages? They're as common as political sex scandals. The end of the world has happened so many times that when the time does actually come, we'll all be inside playing computer games, watching reality TV shows and jacking off to soft porn.

The Associated Press just lost my respect.

Apparently; a storm blew up over the fact that a group of white girls from Arkansas won an African-inspired dance competition. But that's not the main story here (for me at least). The main story here is that The Associated Press actually mentioned and quoted Youtube comments in their news story as if these monstrous pieces of text mattered... to anyone, anywhere...

And I quote:
"A YouTube video of their performance, inspired by the movie "The Matrix," generated hundreds of comments.
Posters questioned everything from whether a white group should have been allowed to compete to whether judges wowed by the unlikely competitors inflated their scores to let them win.
"Good Job but let the Black folks have their own thing for once!!!" wrote one commenter posting under the name "titetowers" who said the Zeta Tau Alpha team did well but should not have won."
PS: titetowers is a moron.
PS: Kate Brumback and Dionne Walker are also morons.